By Mike Bloomberg
There are many questions, comments and pressures that come with the title of “The Romance CEO.” The pressure comes because, since I am single, people often wonder if every date with me has to rival an episode of The Bachelor. Perhaps a helicopter ride to lunch or a horse-drawn carriage ride through downtown to a privately catered dinner. And, during dinner, Michael Buble serenades us with his hits. The answer to this is a categorical “Uhhhhh…no.”
While these amazing dates make for great TV, they don’t necessarily define romance. We often hear the phrase “don’t sweat the small stuff.”
When it comes to romance, I believe that “the small stuff” is exactly what you should focus on. In a recent article, I mentioned Valentine’s Day being an important day. While you should do something for your special someone on this day, picking up flowers from the grocery store at the last minute, fighting crowds in a restaurant and grabbing a box of chocolates in the checkout line does not equal romance.
It’s what you do the other 364 days of the year that count. The “for no reason” gifts and the “just because” cards are the manna from heaven. These are the nuggets that will have her or him bragging about you at the gym, at the water cooler and at the hair salon.
Whether I’m meeting with a client, doing an interview or speaking to an audience, the one thing I always stress when it comes to a marriage proposal is that it has to be all about her. The marriage proposal has very little to do with who is doing the asking and everything to do with who is being asked. When you are in a relationship, this should be your mantra every day of the year.
And, don’t worry that you’ll be taken advantage of. The favor will be returned. Haven’t you heard the expression, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you?” This is so true in relationships.
A couple of years ago, during a trip to the gym, I got engaged (no pun intended) in a conversation with a fellow yoga buff after class. She’s a woman in her 30’s and is the type of person who lights up when you talk to her and you thoroughly enjoy being around. She’s married with one child. So, I asked, “Do you have big plans for Valentine’s Day?” Without missing a beat, her huge blue eyes got bigger, her face lit up and with an overjoyed grin, said, “This is the best story.”
She proceeded to tell me that this time last year they were completing construction on their new home. As it turned out, they were able to move in on Valentine’s Day. It was late in the day and they were starving from all the hard work. Yoga Girl ran to Schlotzsky’s fast-food restaurant, picked up some food and returned home and they ate it by their brand-new outdoor fire pit. Fast forward exactly one year to the next Valentine’s Day.
And when I asked what they were eating, she was ecstatic to share that they get a large “original” sandwich and split it. They have now created a memory and a tradition. Even though money is no object, this annual experience is now something that means the world to them.
So, I leave you with this thought: When you feel the pressure of “doing it right” or planning the perfect date, there is not a template. Take the pressure off and know that there is not a universal perfect date. What makes it perfect is that it is specific to the two of you. With that said, the next time you go to plan a Valentine’s Day date, a birthday celebration, an anniversary, a weekend away or a date for no reason at all, ask yourself, “What’s your Schlotzsky’s?”
Mike Bloomberg, owner of The Romance CEO, is a romance and marriage proposal consultant. He can be reached at http://www.theromanceceo.com
Source: The Fort Worth Business Press